The Astonishing Color of After
There is something about a book that is full of magic without a single spellbook or wand, that really grabs a hold of me.
When her mother unexpectedly commits suicide, Leaigh Chen Saunders is certain she became a beautiful red bird. After her mother, the bird, visits in the night, Leigh, who is half white and half asian, sets off to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents and find her mother.
In Taiwan, Leigh learns why she never met her grandparents, and the world her mother left behind in Taiwan. She also meets Feng, a young friend of her grandparents who Leigh is incredibly jealous of.
When Leigh starts burning incense she found in the guestroom, she begins to relive memories, but not just her own. In the smoke, Leigh discovers more than just the truth, she discovers her history.
"Hold your finger to the sky with so much force it lengths like a spine. Look up to the point of it and beyond. There. That tiny patch of the world, no bigger than the tip of your finger. At first glance, it might just look like one flat color. Blue, or gray, or maybe even orange.
But it's much more complex than that. Squint. See the daubs of lilac. The streak of sage no wider than a hyphen. That butterscotch smear and the faint wash of carnelian. All of them coming together to swirl at the point just above your finger. Breathe them in. Let them settle in your lungs.
Those are the colors of now."
This story grips you from the beginning with a gut-wrenching experience of a teenage girl whose mother has committed suicide. Add in the whimsy of an artist who describes feelings in colors, and you are left on a
path of self-discovery and understanding.
The unexplainable magical moments and the incredible imagery created by Emily XR Pan take you on a fantastical journey that left me considering all the leaps not taken and the moments that happened just out of the corner of my eye.
Leigh is a gorgeously complex character who's drive to believe her mothers' spirit is still with her, brings your heart straight to Pan's hands.
